Saturday, October 13, 2007

LIVE FROM LONDON: NEW ME THERAPY


I’m proudly presenting John Martin, with his "Letter from London," as his part of bringing the Dr Speedy broadcasting corporation news from the Church of England to wherever you are, whenever you want it.

“Dear Dr Speedy,

Thank you for your gift of Graded Laughter Therapy (GLT). I am so impressed I want the world to know how it all began for me.

As you know I live in London and have ME. Six months ago I went to see my GP. "How are you Mr Martin?" he said. "Not so great doctor. I can't be certain but I think it might be related to my ME"

"I have some great news for you John" he said "a new treatment has just become available and is only available through the Church of England"

"Shouldn't the church and medicine be seperated?" I asked. "Don't worry" he replied "it's all quite harmless, we call it GLT."

I asked him if this was the same GLT as used by the world famous Dr Speedy. It is the very same he said, but it's only available here through the Church of England.

I asked him if I would be treated by the famous Dr Speedy himself. He said "No Dr Speedy has gone on to greater things and now runs a worldwide consultation practise through Google," he explained.

"How do I know I will be getting the genuine Dr Speedy Graded Laughter Therapy and not some useless fake stuff?"

"Don't worry," my GP replied, "Dr Speedys' brand of laughter therapy has been standardised and can only be administered by specially trained clowns."

Not only that, but he explained that the British government had given Dr Speedy 5 million pounds which he had used to make sure all the clowns had magic wands.

"Are you seriously telling me I'm going to be treated by a clown with a magic wand?" I said.

"Is there a problem Mr Martin?" he asked

"Of course there is a problem doctor" I said. "Everone knows a magic wand should only be used by a properly trained magician. When used by clowns, magic can be positively dangerous."

"What if we just agree to 6 sessions and see if it's funny" said my GP

"Ok then," I replied. "Send in the clowns."

I will email you again soon Dr Speedy and let you know what things are like in the Church of England these days. Maybe its all changed since I last visited.

Keep making the world laugh.“

That was our correspondent, John Martin, live from the CBT KINGDOM, bringing you the latest news on this new form of ME therapy, the Graded Laughter Therapy, also GLT.

Just keep an eye on the BMJ in the next few weeks and you will see the first article being published, peer reviewed that is, about this GLT, the new standard therapy for ME.

The top Dog from the Kingdom is currently unavailable for comments, but insiders have hinted that he has done the same as he has done a few years ago with the WHO book of ICD codes. He just made up his own, and by accident put the WHO logo on it.

Was just a minor oversight. The guy who made up the Hitler diaries ended up in prison, but our TOP DOGGY, earned a NICE SUM of money from his book. Weird.

Oh, and he reclassified ME as a psychiatric illness at the same time. Which is odd really, if you think about it, as we have nothing, and are very suggestible people according to him. Nothing more and nothing less.

So he can’t seem to make up his mind really. One moment we have nothing but suggestibility, the next minute, ME is a psychiatric illness according to our beloved TOP DOGGY.

Oh, and of course, we suffer from a bit of malingering. Allergy to Malingering psychiatrists, and other make belief artists, that is.

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