Sunday, December 20, 2009

On the First day of Christmas our False Weasel Gave to M.E. ...

Anonymous said...

On the First day of Christmas our False Weasel Gave to M.E.:
An unscientific somatisation theory

On the Second day of Christmas our False Weasel Gave to M.E.:
Two lithium tablets
and an unscientific somatisation theory

On the Third day of Christmas my False Weasel Gave to M.E.:
Three antidepressants
Two lithium tablets
and an unscientific somatisation theory

On the Fourth day of Christmas our False Weasel Gave to M.E.:
Four jeering G.P.s
Three antidepressants
Two lithium tablets
and an unscientific somatisation theory

On the Fifth day of Christmas our False Weasel Gave to M.E.:
Five useless meetings
Four jeering G.P.s
Three antidepressants
Two lithium tablets
and an unscientific somatisation theory

On the Sixth day of Christmas our False Weasel Gave to M.E.:
Six physios a mocking
Five useless meetings
Four jeering G.P.s
Three antidepressants
Two lithium tablets
and an unscientific somatisation theory

On the Seventh day of Christmas our False Weasel Gave to M.E.:
Seven immoral psychiatrists
Six physios a mocking
Five useless meetings
Four jeering G.P.s
Three antidepressants
Two lithium tablets
and an unscientific somatisation theory

On the Eighth day of Christmas our False Weasel Gave to M.E.:
Eight denials of xmrv
Seven immoral psychiatrists
Six physios a mocking
Five useless meetings
Four jeering G.P.s
Three antidepressants
Two lithium tablets
and an unscientific somatisation theory

On the Ninth day of Christmas our False Weasel Gave to M.E.:
Nine fat cats insurers dancing
Eight denials of xmrv
Seven immoral psychiatrists
Six physios a mocking
Five useless meetings
Four jeering G.P.s
Three antidepressants
Two lithium tablets
and an unscientific somatisation theory

On the Tenth day of Christmas our False Weasel Gave to M.E.:
Ten uselss CBT sessions
Nine fat cats insurers dancing
Eight denials of xmrv
Seven immoral psychiatrists
Six physios a mocking
Five useless meetings
Four jeering G.P.s
Three antidepressants
Two lithium tablets
and an unscientific somatisation theory

On the Eleventh day of Christmas our False Weasel Gave to M.E.:
Eleven harmful Graded Exercises
Ten uselss CBT sessions
Nine fat cats insurers dancing
Eight denials of xmrv
Seven immoral psychiatrists
Six physios a mocking
Five useless meetings
Four jeering G.P.s
Three antidepressants
Two lithium tablets
and an unscientific somatisation theory

On the Twelth day of Christmas our False Weasel Gave to M.E.:
Twelve MRC biomedical grant research refusals
Eleven harmful Graded Exercises
Ten uselss CBT sessions
Nine fat cats insurers dancing
Eight denials of xmrv
Seven immoral psychiatrists
Six physios a mocking
Five useless meetings
Four jeering G.P.s
Three antidepressants
Two lithium tablets

- and sectioning under the mental health act for having the neurological illness M.E.


Wishing you a Merry Christmas Dr Speedy, and better health in 2010!

6 comments:

Britomart said...

Thanks for your inspiring blog and for the sardonic smile! Tried to sing it to the traditional tune, but after a few notes the ME made me woozy. Merry Christmas to you, and I hope 2010 will be a brighter year,
Love to Dr Speedy,
Britomart

Elliot said...

That was rather glorious ;)

Anonymous said...

Carol singers brave bleak midwinter

http://www.thisislocallondon.co.uk/news/4816182.Carol_singers_brave_bleak_mi/

" Hardy carol singers braved arctic temperatures on Friday to raise money for a local charity.

A dozen members of the Harvey Singers, a parents’ choir form Harvey Road School, made light of snowy conditions as they toured Valley Walk, in Croxley Green.

They raised more than £150 for the CFS Research Foundation – a Sarratt-based charity dedicated to the treatment of chronic fatigue syndrome.

Debbie Gilbert said: “I think the most appropriate song we did was In the Bleak Midwinter.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------


(the CFS Research Foundation has funded much of Dr Kerr's work; this work has been repeatedly turned down for taxpayer funding by the Medical Research Council, who only fund psychological research into the physical illlness M.E.

They gave £2.7 million to the psychological 'PACE' and 'FINE' trials that use the Oxford criteria to select patients with various vague fatigue states (and that appears to deliberately exclude those with the neurological illness M.E.).
__________________

Anonymous said...

Brilliant!

Anonymous said...

AULD GOBSARTS SYNE

Somatoform theories should be forgot,
and never brought to mind!
But we GOBSARTS at the MRC
Are funding PACE and FINE

We've refused Dr Kerr a grant, my dear
To fund useless PACE and FINE
Wasted taxpayers £3million quid
On useless PACE and FINE

And surely I'll scratch your Weaselly back
And surely you'll scratch mine
M.E. patients suffer and die, yet
We GOBSARTS are doing fine

We've refused Dr Kerr a grant, my dear
To fund useless PACE and FINE
Wasted taxpayers £3million quid
On useless PACE and FINE

We've using the Oxford Criteria so
We're not studying M.E.
Studying mild depression instead
Massaging data successfully

We've refused Dr Kerr a grant, my dear
To fund useless PACE and FINE
Wasted taxpayers £3million quid
On useless PACE and FINE

And there’s a charity,my Weaselly friends,
Who's "AGMs" no-one remembers
Who's 'members' have no voting rights
- Only executives are members

We've refused Dr Kerr a grant, my dear
To fund useless PACE and FINE
Wasted taxpayers £3million quid
On useless PACE and FINE

And they support the NICE Guidelines
Other charities condemn
And they love our PACE and FINE
That's why we love them

We've refused Dr Kerr a grant, my dear
To fund useless PACE and FINE
Wasted taxpayers £3million quid
On useless PACE and FINE

----------------------------------




(Happy New Year Dr Speedy, let's hope 2010 is the year M.E. patients receive biomedical treatment based on biomedical research, instead of contempt and psychobabble)

Anonymous said...

AULD GOBSARTS SYNE (revised version)

Somatoform theories should be forgot,
And never brought to mind!
But we GOBSARTS at the MRC
Are funding PACE and FINE

Haven't funded biomedical research, my dear
Into M.E. since 1959
We've wasted taxpayers £3million quid
On useless PACE and FINE

And surely I'll scratch your weaselly back
And surely you'll scratch mine
M.E. patients suffer and die, yet
M.E.'s such a gold mine.

We've refused genetic research grants, my dear
But psychobabble's just fine
Wasted taxpayers £3million quid
On useless PACE and FINE

We're researching with the Oxford Criteria
So we're not studying M.E.
Studying mild depression instead to
Massage data successfully

We'll use Oxford criteria for xmrv, my dear
Pretend M.E.'s 'all in the mind'
All the undeserving of society
Will get is PACE and FINE

And there’s an M.E. charity,my friend!
Who's "AGMs" no-one remembers
Who's subscribers have no voting rights
- Only executives are members

We won't research human herpes 6A, my dear
We won't research chronic Lyme
Forget Parvovirus B19
We're funding PACE and FINE

The charity support the NICE Guidelines
(The other charities condemn)
And they love our PACE and FINE
And so we love them

Biomedical researchers gave up on us, my dear
We strung them such a a line
Wasting taxpayers £3million quid
On useless PACE and FINE

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